Dear Friends: My mom is awesome. How awesome is she? Super-awesome. As in, one of her greatest character traits I remember from growing up, and still to this day, is that no matter what, if she hears somebody disparaging another person, justly or unjustly, she will defend that person. Vehemently. Friend or foe. (She has no foes, because she's awesome, but if she did, and heard they were being disparaged, she'd defend them. Vehemently.)
My mom also has a sense of humor. So you can imagine how funny it was to hear a few of her responses to her phone-circle of idiot-liberal pro-Iranian anti-American friends and family (extended family), who, upon hearing the 9th circuit court upheld the ruling opposing President Trump's executive order on immigration-extreme-vetting (aka the travel ban), they were all celebrating.
Now, for clarity, let's define idiot-liberal pro-Iranian anti-Americans by their given name: progressives. (Progressives are a subset of liberals; that is, all progressives are liberals, but not all liberals are progressives. Thank God. Whom they do not believe in (progressives, not all liberals), which makes them idiots. Because as the old saying goes, if you don't believe in God, you better be right.)
And yet, they're still my mom's friends and family (extended), because she loves them all. Her secret is: they may not love her quite the same anymore, because she supported and supports President Trump's vision to make our country safe and prosperous again, but that doesn't bother her. She loves them anyway. Because she's awesome.
And so, to my mom's phone-circle of idiot-liberal pro-Iranian anti-American friends and family (extended), if you ever read this, which I hope you do, please know that it's because my mom is awesome. And you, my mom's phone-circle of idiot-liberal pro-Iranian anti-American friends and family (extended), are not.1
All of which reminds me of a conversation I had many years ago with a cousin, said cousin being an idiot-liberal pro-Iranian anti-American, who lived then and lives now safely and prosperously in this country, and as a citizen, which went basically like this:
- Him: I hate America.
- Me: What?
- Him: I hate America.
- Me: Why?
- Him: Because I hate America.
- Me: So leave.
(No response. End of conversation.)
And this was when, as a country, we were still being civil. Today, I can imagine a similar conversation going something more like this:
- Can you tell us why you hate America?
- Because America sucks.
- How so?
- America is full of imperialist-colonialist-fascists who drive SUVs.
- But you drive an SUV.
- Yes, but I'm a progressive.
- What does that mean?
- Progressives drive SUVs as a statement of protest.
- What are you protesting?
- Everything.
- What are you protesting, specifically, by driving an SUV?
- Everything.
- How about one specific example?
- SUVs.
- What about them?
- We drive SUVs to protest SUVs.
- Well, why didn't you just say so?
- I just did.
- Fine. Let's move on.
- No.
- Why not?
- I'm done talking to you.
- Why?
- Talking to conservatives causes global warming.
- Say that again?
- Talking to conservatives causes global warming.
- How so?
- Are you deaf? It's a scientific fact that talking to conservatives causes global warming!
- Is that why you recently banned Breitbart editor Milo Yiannopoulos from speaking at Berkeley?
- Exactly!
- Can you expand on that?
- He came to speak at Berkeley, which made us burn cars, which causes global warming!
- Did you burn SUVs?
- No. Prius's. They're pieces of bleep anyway.
- Does it matter that Milo Yiannopoulos is a gay immigrant?
- Not if he's a conservative.
- How so?
- Talking to conservatives causes global warming.
You get the picture.
1My mom would not approve of my calling anybody not awesome.2
2Because she's awesome.3
3And they're not.