Dear Friends: It's an upside-down world we live in. The news is fake, the facts are alternative, and Orwell is definitely rolling in his grave. (And, it's probably a joint he's rolling.) And, of course, The Donald is the POTUS.
Yes, it's 10 days into the Trump Presidency, which is 10% of the first 100 days of his presidency, which is somehow the bellwether for any presidency, for those of you counting, which is sorta weird given how we probably want any leader of the free world to be patient, and measured, and even-handed in the face of this world of adversity we all find ourselves in, thanks to Bush1.
Part 1:
"We don't need no education." -Pink Floyd
"We don't need no stinkin badges!" -Anonymous
Sanctuary cities, your time is up. And further, Kate's Law will pass. And if California wants to secede, please do it sooner than later. (Then our fair country can get back all those popular votes you wasted.) But, just so you know, there will be a wall. From the Arizona border to the Nevada border to the Oregon border. And, you will pay for it. But no worries, dudes, you can probably fund it with all that high-grade recreationally-medicinal marijuana you'll be selling us. And naturally, there will be an import tax. Like 50%. So think twice.
Part 2:
"Mister Gorbachev, tear down that wall." -Ronald Reagan
"Mister Pena Nieto, build that wall!" -Donald J. Trump
So here's the abbreviated twitter-war:
@POTUS: You'll build it, and pay for it, and I'm charging 20% on imports, plus the usual vig, and that's a bargain, hefe, or I'll cancel on you! #upyours
@Pena Nieto: I don't think so, hefe. You don't cancel on me, I cancel on you. #youhavesmallhands
@POTUS: No way, Jose! #they'reaveragehands
@Pena Nieto: Did you just call me Jose? I'm canceling. #whatadouche
@POTUS: You'll come crawling back. But tell you what, once the wall's finished, you can stamp Made in Mexico on it! #whatadoubledouche
@Pena Nieto: Really? Deal. #maybenotadouche
@POTUS: But the stamp has to be made in the U.S.A! #whatadouche
Part 3:
"We're all out."2 -Theresa May (in a historically short bill submitted to Parliament regarding her Brexit strategy)
"You can't come in!" -Donald J. Trump (in a historically short tweet regarding his ban on entry from seven countries supporting radical Islamic terrorism)
And when you think about it, they're both saying the exact same thing.
1As said, over and over and over again, by Barrack H. Obama, et.al.
2Abridged from her 132-word short and sweet F.U. to the E.U.