And now, for something completely different...
(One line a day, every day, until President Trump is re-elected).
"Good evening, and welcome to NightLine... I'm not Ted Koppel: We begin tonight with sports, also known in this existential election year as politics, and the Big Ten football conference, obviously run by liberals given their decision to flip-flop on their own season by canceling their own cancelation because their calculation caused Dems in Big Ten states like Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Wisconsin to routinely answer pollsters with, 'We want our effing football, or we're voting for the orange man,' so credit the President (he also made some rather helpful phone calls), the cherry on top of his recent run of successful Nobel-worthy peace negotiations, vaccination news, and massive assistance to fire-stricken California, and then, of course, there's Joe Biden, who's day was composed of honoring Latinos by playing a Latino song on his iPhone, and dancing a little dance, and the only way it would have been more pandering is if he'd pulled out a boom box, and it just goes to show that with good ole' Joe, if nothing else you can always count on the song and dance."
(Please continue to tune in, every night at 11:30... ish).